Isolation
by Cyhyr
Summary: Senior year. The best year of one's life. Well, not if you're spending it in a different school, away from your boyfriend. And for what? AkuRoku. Sequel to Alone. Warning! Lime in chapter 5. Complete.
1. Landing In London

Landing In London

_You didn't cry_

_Or comfort me_

_Or react at all_

_I wish you had, I think_

_Then I'd know if you missed me_

_... Or Not_

_

* * *

_

It was August twenty-fifth, the summer before senior year and Roxas stared out the window of the train, watching the world go by at over seventy miles-per-hour. He considered running away; not from home. No, Roxas considered running _back _home. There was nothing he wanted more than to finish high school in Twilight Town, to be home for graduation, to be around his friends.

Midgar was very far away. True, Roxas hadn't seen his Uncle Cid or his cousin, Sora, in years, but he didn't want to have to live with them. A visit would have been nice, but under the current circumstances he'd rather be back home with his Dad and Axel. Wouldn't he be safer if he were close to his boyfriend? Axel would never let anything happen to him; but Axel couldn't do anything if he was so far away.

But, even Axel had his doubts, apparently. It was his idea to get Roxas out of Twilight Town. After what happened at Lexaeus's graduation party that Val threw, Axel had become paranoid. So Lydia had sneaked in and threatened Roxas. She didn't even touch him! It just startled him, scared him a little. Roxas had tried to tell Axel that he was fine, but Axel refused to let Roxas out from under his arm for the rest of the night. He and Cloud had discussed it over breakfast the next morning, and for the rest of the week.

Roxas was asked to start packing by July tenth. Axel kept saying that Midgar wasn't his idea and that he couldn't convince Cloud any other way, but Roxas hadn't responded. Numbly, he had packed. Much to Axel's dismay, Roxas had gone into a silent lapse since he heard that he was going to Midgar. Cloud's bullshit excuse for Midgar? "We're only trying to keep her away from you."

A voice came from the speakers above his head saying that the train would arrive in Midgar in ten minutes. Roxas could only sigh and shift his feet under his seat. It had been a long day- on the train at nine-thirty in the morning, lunch and dinner on the train, and arriving in the city at eight o'clock at night. He couldn't wait to finally get off the train, though he _would _have liked to be getting off back in Twilight Town. That wouldn't be happening, if Cloud had any say in the matter, until next July.

The train soon stopped and Roxas pulled his bags off the train. He looked through the crowd trying to find his Uncle Cid or Sora, but he gave up and sat on a bench while everyone else boarded the train or left the station with friends and relatives. Roxas turned on his music and closed his eyes, listening to the sounds of Hey Monday ring through his ears.

Three songs later, a tap on his shoulder made him open his eyes and he stared into bright blue orbs. He gasped sharply, his hand flew to his chest while he watched his cousin start laughing. Though he was sullen, he couldn't help but smile. Sora's laugh was contagious and could make anyone at least grin by hearing it. But, when the laughter slowed, Roxas slapped at Sora and said, "Don't scare me like that!"

But the outburst only made Sora laugh harder. Roxas shook his head and looked over to the tall blonde behind Sora and nodded, "Hi Uncle Cid."

"Hey there kid," he said, "Let's get goin'; I've got a flight to make in the morning and you need to get settled in."

Sora helped Roxas with his bags and the blonde followed them to the car. He had almost forgotten that Cid was a military pilot- Dad had reminded him before he got on the train to be cooperative with Cid when he got to Midgar, even. He looked over at Sora and clicked his tongue to get the brunette's attention. When he had it, he mouthed, _I'm sorry_.

Sora smiled sadly. "It's been a year now, Rox. We're just about over it," he whispered.

Roxas had found out a month ago that his Aunt Hilda had died. She had an arrhythmia and then a heart attack. Uncle Cid became more involved with his work, going out on flights every other weekend; and, in effect, leaving Sora with friends or alone. Aunt Hilda was like a second mother to Roxas when he was younger, and to know that she was gone... he couldn't imagine what Sora went through, really.

_He _hadn't known his mother when she died.

The car ride to the military base was quiet. Roxas was, honestly, scared to be living on a military base. Sure, Dad had been in the army, but he had never lived on base. He'd still be going to a public school with Sora, and Riku would be there, too. But, really, the thought of living with an Air Force pilot scared him. What if he does or says something that offends his Uncle?

When they pulled up to a small house, Cid turned around and said, "Welcome home, Rox." It was nice, but Roxas refused to think of it as "home." Axel wasn't in there waiting for him, so there was no way that the house was home, or would ever be.

Sora led the way down to the furnished basement, saying that they would be sharing the space. "The house was originally one bedroom, but Dad got this space finished so I'd have my own room. It's big enough for both of us, but if you want privacy, we can put up curtains or something."

Roxas shook his head. It was strangely comforting, being back in a basement room, like he had been for about five years. Maybe curtains would be nice, especially over the windows. But, not right now. "Maybe later," Roxas said. "I'd rather just get unpacked and settled for now."

"We can do that tomorrow," Sora said. "But now we need to stay quiet so Dad can get to sleep."

They talked until midnight, catching up and describing their past events to each other. Roxas described his friends back home, and Sora listened intently. Demyx, his fellow musician; Olette, the skater; Pence, the cook; Hayner, the struggle team captain; Zexion, the science nerd that also had a beautiful tenor voice; Reno, the college sophomore that flirted with him playfully.

And, of course, Axel. Sora started giggling like a school girl when Roxas told him about his status with Axel. Roxas went on about how great Axel was, and how much they were in love, but then Sora asked a question.

"So, is there anything bad about Axel?"

Roxas frowned. "Yes," he said. "He wanted me to leave Twilight Town."

Sora shook his head. "But he's just protecting you that way. That's not bad."

"Yes it is," Roxas explained. "He could protect me just fine. Leaving Twilight Town was not necessary. He could have just told me that he needed his space."

Roxas was glad that Sora didn't say anything else to that because he knew it wasn't true. Axel never complained about Roxas hanging around him too much; actually, Roxas knew that Axel preferred having Roxas close because it was easier for the redhead to watch him when they were in the same place.

Sora helped Roxas set up a cot, and they went to sleep. It was a restless sleep for Roxas, because he constantly woke up with Lydia hanging over him, whispering that she was going to attack Axel. Finally, at five-thirty in the morning, he gasped awake to the sight of Axel swinging from a rope. He quickly realized that he had been crying; he turned his pillow over and went upstairs to wait for the sunrise.

* * *

Cid had just gotten back from his flight for their first day of school. Roxas and Sora got a ride to school, also picking up Sora's friend, Riku. Roxas remembered Riku from when they were younger, and the three of them got into quite a bit of mischief. They quickly caught up- actually, it was more like Riku telling Roxas it'll be a great year with the three of them together, and Roxas smiling and nodding. Roxas wished it was Demyx telling him it was going to be a great year. It was a little on the depressing side, but nothing that Roxas couldn't deal with.

They were dropped off at Public School No. 48, and Sora led the way to the front doors with Riku and Roxas trailing behind. It was hard to believe that over the past years they hadn't seen each other, Sora hadn't changed a bit. He was still a little hyper and happy to be in a new place- or even a place he hadn't been in just over two months.

There was one time when Cid, Hilda, and Sora had come to visit that Sora was playing tag with Roxas and Riku in the backyard. They ended up taking the game inside, and Sora broke the glass top coffee table- accidentally, of course. Cloud had asked Cid and Hilda if they had considered having Sora diagnosed as ADHD, but Hilda, very firmly, told Cloud that Sora was a very creative child and she would not have him take pills to suppress that creativity; even if it did make him more manageable. Cid agreed that he would not changed Sora for anything.

Roxas didn't want Sora to change, either, when they were younger. He just assumed that Sora would have changed because everyone else he knew had when Lydia came into his life. Now, though, that hyperactivity that Sora still had was almost annoying. They were almost adults; Sora couldn't keep acting like that through adulthood.

"Roxas, hurry up! I need to introduce you to my friends!" Sora called from upstairs. Riku led Roxas up the stairs, through the crowd of teenagers all trying to catch up with friends they may or may not have seen over the summer. Roxas remembered the time Axel told him about coming to Twilight High for the first time, and realized that Axel had it easy; at least the hallways of his old school were never crowded.

When they reached the second floor, Riku walked beside Roxas and gently nudged him toward the small group at the end of the hallway. It was a difficult operation to try and avoid stepping on anyone's foot, but Roxas succeeded and sighed when he got to stand next to Sora. It was much less crowded at this end of the hallway, and Roxas could only guess that the lack of people was why they gathered here.

"Guys, this is Roxas. Roxas, these are my friends: Wakka, Kairi, Tidus, and Selphie," Sora said. Roxas saw a nod come each from a well-built redhead guy, a girl with very bright blue eyes, a dirty blonde guy (much taller than Roxas was), and a smiley brunette girl. Roxas smiled to all of them and nodded. Sora said to them, "Roxas is my cousin from Twilight. He's staying the year with us."

Then the bell rang and Roxas, having memorized his schedule and the map that came with it earlier that week, went off to his first class- Greek Mythology, room 231- with a wave to Sora and his friends. Upon reaching the room, he introduced himself to the teacher, and then took a seat near the window. He sunk down in his seat and hoped that his first period class was Sora-free (and, for that matter, friends-of-Sora-free).

That hope was smashed when the dirty-blonde guy- _Tidus,_he remembered- came in and, after catching sight of Roxas, sat in the seat just in front of him. "Hi, Roxas," Tidus said. Roxas smiled back, finding some similarity in those words and the way that Tidus talked. It was slight, but Tidus over-pronounced the "x" in his name, just like Axel did.

_It couldn't hurt to at least try to be friends, right?_ Roxas thought, then pointed to the front of the room, where the teacher was waiting to start the class. Tidus waved obnoxiously to the teacher, like they were best friends, and the class scoffed laughter at his actions. Roxas couldn't help a tiny chuckle, and decided that he and Tidus might just be good friends by the end of the school year.

Textbooks were handed out, cards filled out, and then the teacher- Mr. Ishikawa, Roxas learned- gave them a "quick" assignment to write down the name of four Heroes to be handed in at the end of class. While everyone else was still getting out paper, Roxas and Tidus both were already writing, and stood up at the same time a minute later to hand the assignment in.

Tidus only smirked. When they got back to their seats, he turned to Roxas and whispered, "Who did you think of?"

Roxas said back, just as quietly, "Perseus, Atlanta, Theseus, and Meleager."

Tidus smiled and shook his head. "Same ones I got. But Auron knows we didn't cheat; he was watching us the whole time, did you notice?" Roxas had noticed, and decided to ask Sora about Tidus's relation to the mythology teacher later.

Roxas and Tidus talked quietly about random myths that they knew of, and when the bell rang Tidus walked with him to their next class- and the two after that. After Participation in Government, Economics, and Creative Writing, they met up with Sora, Selphie, and Kairi for lunch. Roxas had his music classes almost in block after that- Music Proficiency, Chorus, and Music History one right after another. He had never before heard of a proficiency class, but found it to be time for music students to get independent practice hours in their performance area.

He saw every one of Sora's friends, Sora included, in chorus. He joined Sora and Tidus in the tenor section briefly while Riku and Wakka sat behind them with other basses. Kairi was an alto, and Selphie sat alone in the soprano section. Roxas noticed the lack of sopranos compared to the rest of the choir, and wondered why until warm-ups. He could hear Selphie over everyone else in the choir, a pleasant ringing like a bell. She sang an octave over the other girls and was very easily heard. The soprano section only needed ten other voices to be heard well enough.

Music History got him another textbook. It wasn't exactly exciting, and he didn't expect it to become any more stimulating.

His last class of the day was English 12, another class where Sora and all of Sora's friends were together in the class with him. Mr. Ishikawa was the teacher for this class, too, and when Tidus walked in the room, he hugged the teacher quickly before getting a light swat on the back of the head. The other blonde sat on Roxas's other side, and Roxas had to ask. "How do you know him?"

Tidus smiled. "He's my Dad's best friend. I grew up with him around."

A book, The Inferno, was handed out, and Roxas tucked it away and followed the conversation that the others around him were carrying on.

He pulled out his phone and checked the time. 2:34; there was only eleven minutes left of school. He knew that Axel didn't have a class now- he had all of his graduation required classes in the morning, and so opted for not having a ninth period. Quickly, he typed up a note for his boyfriend. _"Adjusting well- no Lydia yet :P"_

"Who're you talking to?" Selphie said to him, looking at his phone over his shoulder.

The others all turned to him, while he smiled and said, "My boyfriend back in Twilight Town."

Both Kairi and Selphie "aww"-ed, while Riku and Wakka smirked and shook their heads. "Didn't peg you as a fruit," Wakka said.

His phone vibrated, alerting him of the text he received. _"That's good. Demyx says hi"_ Axel wrote back.

Out of the corner of his eye, Roxas saw Tidus's face fall as he texted with Axel. But, he couldn't find himself caring. The bell soon rang and everyone walked down to the gym- Roxas asked Sora what they were doing, and Sora replied that Wakka drives them all home after Selphie and Kairi's practice. The four boys sat in the bleachers and watched the volleyball practice while talking about various events that happened over the summer. Roxas listened to the playlist that Axel put together for him before he left while turning the dogtag he received from the same redhead last Christmas over in his hand.

_Property of Axel. Invaders will be severely burned._

Roxas smiled. _I'll be home soon, Axel, _he thought.

* * *

The days went by quickly for Roxas. Curtains were eventually put up in the basement to divide the room for Sora and Roxas and he fell into a routine of counting down the days to graduation.

Roxas still had nightmares most nights of Axel suffering torture from Lydia, and started riding the bus back to the house after school instead of waiting for Selphie and Kairi to finish their practice. He had to sleep when he was able, and when he woke, he ate dinner and then finished any homework he hadn't finished during the day.

It was hard to keep going without seeing Axel, but his boyfriend always responded to his texts and returned his calls if he wasn't able to take them. Finally, Axel promised him a visit at Christmas, so graduation wasn't so far away anymore.

Roxas couldn't wait to see Axel again.

* * *

Disclaimer: I have a poster from Ryshie. It has the Spork saying no. It's stuper-spifftasticness.

A/N: Hey all! Sequal to Alone; and it didn't even take me a year to start! People should be very happy with me for finally getting it up. Yay, right? Right? RIGHT???

Right.

We (as a collective group of people happy to have the beginning of the sequel up) will not be angry when I say that the next chapter won't be up for awhile because of schoolwork and auditions for college. Also, I have to re-learn how to play the Oboe and make it sound good for the next concert. The next month or so will be a busy time so writing will _not _be happening. I can promise that I will try to get the second chapter up sometime in late April- but the key word there is "try."


	2. Path

Path

_All you had to do was watch and see how my heart broke every day_

_Or hear my cries for you to stay_

_Maybe the road we took was predetermined_

_I just hope that you don't forget that I'm here_

_My life is yours_

* * *

"Pyro, you need to get over it. So, yeah, he's gone away- he'll be back!"

They were in first period, English 12, when Zexion said this to Axel the Monday of the second week of school. Zexion, the short, intelligent one, always had a way of making him feel a little better about his predicament. But, Axel was only able to feel that calm for a minute before he had almost no choice but to resort back to moping over the loss of his boyfriend.

He knew that Roxas didn't believe him when he told him over the summer that Midgar wasn't his idea. Yes, he proposed the idea of Roxas leaving Twilight- but Midgar was so far away. Axel had suggested Radiant Garden; Roxas could have lived with him and Reno and Val in their old district. But Cloud wanted Roxas as far away as he could get him.

Then Cid offered to take Roxas in and Cloud jumped at the chance to send Roxas away.

"Zexion, I just wanted Roxas safe. He could have been safe in Radiant Garden- Hell, he could have lived with Lexaeus and I wouldn't have minded!" Axel let his head fall onto the desk, making a loud _crack!_ that made the teacher look up from her book. "I didn't want him so far away..." he mumbled.

"Mr. Feuer, is there something you need to share with the class?"

Axel lifted his head up, nodded, and stood. He made eye contact with everyone in the room, and then said, "I miss Roxas." He noticed the class making that groaning motion, but no one actually sounded his or her groan- but it was obvious to Axel that they wanted to. This depression he's been in the past few weeks is old news to the kids of Twilight High.

It was selfish, maybe, the way he made everyone know about his problem, but Axel found himself caring less and less each day. He wanted to plan a trip to Midgar and find Roxas and never let that beautiful little blonde out of his sight again. Unfortunately, that idea- and he knew it- was impractical. Midgar was huge. It be more likely that Cloud gave in and let Roxas come home than Axel would find Roxas in the maze that was Midgar.

When he got out of school at two o'clock, he quickly checked his phone for any texts he might have missed earlier- but there weren't any. Roxas had stopped texting him everyday, only called a few nights a week, and had IMed him once over the past three weeks. Axel was starting to worry that he was being replaced as Number One in Roxas's life- but, maybe it was good that he was adjusting so well. And, then, Axel only thought about how Roxas was clearly forgetting him, and it was all he could do to keep his tears inside. Reno would call him childish, Zexion would tell him to man-up, and his mom would ask him to try to imagine having Roxas right next to him; and then Axel would have little to no choice but to walk away and close a door to the world and let the tears out.

He just wants to hear Roxas's real voice again- not over the phone, but to hear the angelic tones that was purely _Roxas_ and let the blonde's natural song lull him to peaceful sleep.

Sleep... Axel hadn't had a good night's sleep since Roxas had left. It was always worry that Lydia would figure it all out and go attack his little blonde, and he would be so far away that he could do nothing about it. Or, that something else would happen- what if someone decides that they want a good fuck and that Roxas would be perfect to get it from? Axel wouldn't be able to do anything about it because he had no way of getting to Midgar to even help Roxas get over the pain. At least if Roxas had gone to Radiant Garden, it would have been a little more practical for Axel to visit if Roxas needed him to.

Axel opened the door to his bedroom and flung himself on his bed. His head almost hit the headboard, but he turned over and stared at the ceiling, not caring at his almost-injury. Who was it that needed to see the other? Roxas was getting along fine without Axel, it seemed. No, it was _Axel_ that needed to see Roxas. Maybe, he could try to set up a voice chat with Roxas sometime... or, would that seem like he was desperate already?

Oh, fuck it. Axel could accept it. He _was_ desperate.

But, he'd wait for Roxas to return the feeling before he did anything else.

* * *

Axel had taken to visiting Cloud for a few minutes every Saturday, just to make sure that Lydia was still clueless to where Roxas had gone. It was always good news for Axel to read the letters she sent, or hear the messages she left on the answering machine; it let him know that Lydia was still chasing an old scent.

It was the fact that the letters were still coming that made Cloud happy.

There was one week where Lydia screamed messages on the phone, telling Roxas to stop hiding andface her like a man. She left messages for Cloud to stop sheltering his son, to let the boy deal with his own situation.

These same things Axel found amusing, and he understood that it meant that Roxas was safe. But he couldn't shake the feeling that she was figuring it all out, that there will be a day soon when she'll become wise to their plan and go to Midgar and take Roxas away before they even know that she knows.

* * *

One Saturday in the beginning of October, Axel knocked on the front door to Cloud's house. Aeris answered the door with a smile and her perky, "Hi, Axel!" He smiled back and entered. She asked him if he planned on staying long, but Axel shook his head, he had a report to type up today, maybe next week...

"Axel," Cloud called him into the living room. He saw the blonde sitting on the couch, holding a letter and looking rather upset.

"What's up?" Axel asked.

The blonde man sighed, pointed to the chair, and asked Axel to sit. Axel, suddenly aware that his fears might be manifesting in reality, moved to the chair and felt his knees give out just before he sat down.

"Axel... I want you to read this letter and tell me that she's still talking about Roxas," Cloud said. Axel grabbed the paper out of Cloud's hand, and took a deep breath.

Then, he read.

_Cloud,_

_So, you've sent him away, huh? Trying to keep him from me? _

_Well, I'll tell you something. My Baby knows things. He told me about your scheme. I know what's going on. And, I'll tell you now- you won't be able to protect him when he leaves. _

_You won't be able to protect him when he comes looking for me. And he will, Cloud. I'll make him come and find me. _

_Your Love,_

_Lydia_

Axel looked up at Cloud and shook his head. "She's talking about Roxas. But, I think she's talking about someone else, too," Axel said, handing the letter back to the blonde.

"I know she is, Axel. It's who she's referring to that scares me." Cloud stood up and went to the answering machine, and turned it on, forwarding through various other messages from his and Aeris's work. When he got to one from yesterday, he stopped it, and turned back to Axel, "This is the message she left yesterday afternoon."

The answering machine repeated the message. _"That other one is really important to him, isn't he, Cloud? I couldn't imagine what it would feel like to not know what happened to my Baby. Could you, Cloud? Could you imagine what it would feel like to be apart from your dear Aeris and then- just like that!- they disappeared? I don't think you could... but, Roxas could... Oh, yes, Roxas could. And, he'll relive that feeling... He'll find me, Cloud. He'll have no choice. He'll have to find his Beau. That pretty... fiery... talented redhead of his. He'll wake up one day and not know where he is and that's when you'll know... Roxas will come looking for me. He'll know. He's not completely stupid."_

Axel floated back into the couch, not knowing what to think. He watched Cloud turn off the answering machine and sit down next to him. Aeris came into the living room and asked Axel if he wanted something to drink, to which Cloud replied for him, "Just some ice water, Aeris."

It made sense, now. The letters and messages had been coming less frequently, and now Axel understood why. Lydia had figured it out, and also planned out how she was going to get Roxas to come to her.

Roxas was no longer the target. Axel was.

And, somehow, that knowledge was comforting. He knew, now, that Roxas was relatively safe; wasn't that what he wanted? Isn't that why Roxas was sent away to live in Midgar, to be safe? Yes, and now he was. Until, of course, Lydia acted on her threat and kidnapped Axel. Roxas would come for him, Axel knew, and that was a little unsettling. But, if he left Roxas a note saying to look for him, would he listen and let someone else do it?

Probably not.

"Axel, I know this is a lot to take in, but I have to ask you to not tell Roxas about this in any way," Cloud said, handing the redhead a glass of ice water.

He couldn't drink it, and looked at Cloud with a blank face. "Why?"

"He doesn't need to know. He'll worry about you and want to come home, which would be walking right into Lydia's open hands. I'd rather he not know, stay in Midgar, and in the case she does get to you, we'll deal with it from there," Cloud explained.

_Roxas is right,_ Axel thought. _He really is full of bullshit excuses._

"I won't tell him," Axel said, and watched Cloud sigh with relief. "But only because it will keep him away. I think he deserves to know, but I won't argue with you about it."

Cloud nodded. "I'd also like to talk with Val about the possibility of you going somewhere else."

Axel stood up, "Wow, you really like sending people away, don't you???"

"Axel, calm down," Cloud said, and Aeris came back in the room and stood by a chair.

"No! I don't see the point in sending me away, not when I'm never alone, anyway."

"You were alone when you walked over here, weren't you?"

"Well, yeah, but it's a neighborhood watch street. There's no chance that she'd be able to sneak up on me without alerting me; in which case, she'd either not be able to to take me down, or I'd yell loud enough to get someone to come out of their house. She won't do anything if someone's watching."

Cloud shook his head. "You don't know her as well as I do, Axel," he said quietly. "She'll knock you out- you won't even know what hit you. You won't have time to alert anyone. She'll have people helping her. She knows that you'll be hard to take down. If she has to, she'll have just her men take you out, rather than trying by herself."

Axel sighed. "I still feel obligated to tell Roxas... But, I'll have Mom call you to talk about sending me away. She might not go for it, but if you think it will keep Roxas safe, then I'll do it."

"Thank-you, Axel," Cloud said.

Axel finished his water quickly, and then nodded thanks for the information. He left the house, hearing Aeris complain to Cloud that he should have been nicer giving the news.

But, Axel was glad that Cloud had been so up-front about it. It was quicker that way, rather than beating around the bush for an hour.

Now, at least, he had time today to write that report.

But, he wondered... Would Cloud have a problem if he told Zexion? Probably not... Axel decided that Zexion would know. He wouldn't have to keep this secret to family.

* * *

That night, Axel sat infront of his computer, IM-ing with Roxas. Well, at least, he sent a message to Roxas, but the blonde hadn't responded. So, it was really Axel playing solitare and backgammon while waiting for Roxas to sign on.

Ten-thirty came and went, and his message went ignored. Eleven-forty-five clicked past on his clock and still Roxas had not signed on.

Axel fell asleep on his desk that night, trying to understand why Roxas refused to talk to him.

In the morning, he hummed a song while getting ready for... nothing. It was a Sunday, and he had no obligations to fulfill. Maybe, he should go somewhere... just to be rid of boredom... but, what service would take him in, being the gay man he is?

He shrugged and pulled back the covers, then slipped down into the warmth of his bed. He went to sleep, having nightmares of Lydia slowly killing Roxas while he could do nothing but watch. It took him a few times of having these nightmares before he realized that the reason he couldn't do anything about that bitch bringing about the death of his blonde was that he was already dead.

These were odd dreams, but he didn't bother trying to stop them. In a weird way, they were interesting... exciting, even.... Because, even though Roxas always died, and it was heartbreaking to watch every time, it helped Axel accept the fact that Roxas was much better off in Midgar, not knowing where Axel is.

Axel didn't log on to his IM that night when he woke up again, but instead called Zexion and told him about Lydia's messages. Zexion told him to be careful, and that it was almost one-thirty in the morning, that he was going back to sleep and that Axel should do the same.

Axel drew a quick picture of a heart on paint, then drew little cracks in it. He decided that he would keep at it, drawing a little black line in the heart for every day that he was away from Roxas. Every week, he would send it to Roxas to remind the blonde that he loved him and missed him so much.

* * *

Disclaimer: Hey!!! Guess what??? I _still _don't own anything except for my plot!!!

A/N: I told you it would take forever, didn't I? But, it's up. Yay.

On happier notes...

I got accepted into the division of music at York college (Pennsylvania). YAY!!! And, I have less than a month of school left before I graduate. Then, I get to do a bunch of college stuff...

Which, I'm really happy about; I get to take piano lessons for the first time in my life, next year!!! I'm stuper happy!

...don't know when the next chapter will be up, sorry. Soon, I'm hoping. Sooner than it took for me to update this one.


	3. Hurricane Streets

Hurricane Streets

_Time, time, time..._

_No more, not anymore._

_Gotta live faster, so I can get home_

_Gotta love stronger, so we can be again_

_But, winds are blowing hard; winds of change_

_Maybe we'll withstand the storm... but maybe not_

* * *

Roxas sighed as he sat in Economics. He had about eight months left before he went home- it was finally October. The nightmares were less frequent and Sora stopped bugging him about coming to watch Selphie and Kairi play. Roxas decided a week ago that he would just keep pushing himself through his classes and focus only on his studies. It was helpful because he stopped thinking about Axel and then, the days started to fly.

The teacher finally stopped writing on the board and looked at the clock. "Well, we have fifteen minutes before the bell," she said, "feel free to talk, but keep it below a dull roar." Roxas closed his notebook (which, by the way, was still blank because of the lack of useful information provided in the class) and slipped it back in his bag. He tucked his pen behind his ear and pulled his mp3 player out and stuck one earphone in and listened to Theory of a Deadman.

He looked over at Tidus while he waited for the bell. The teen was doodling in his notebook, and Roxas was slightly curious as to what the other blonde was drawing. But he knew it was extremely rude to try and see, because he had ignored Tidus so much through the past few weeks. Roxas felt bad about ignoring Sora's friends, but he had to keep thinking about home and how he would never see these people again after this year. It would be pointless for him to make friends in Midgar when he was never coming back after this year was done.

Roxas looked out the window and watched a flock of birds settle on telephone wires. It was boring, but better than talking to Tidus and thinking about what Tidus was drawing and asking Tidus why he was drawing instead of talking to one of his other friends.

"Hey, Roxas?" Tidus was smiling softly, like he wasn't sure that he really wanted to talk to Roxas. Roxas looked Tidus in the eyes and waited for the other blonde to continue. "There's a volleyball game tonight..."

Roxas shook his head. "I'm not really into volleyball," he said, hoping that would get him out of having to go.

"It's Kairi and Selphie's last game," Tidus explained. "They really want you to come."

"I really don't want to go..." Roxas said. Then, Tidus got out his chair and knelt down in front of Roxas, smirking. All the kids in the room were watching them, at least out of the corner of their eyes, and Roxas felt his face flush as Tidus took his hand and said:

"Roxas, will you come with me to the game tonight?"

He pulled his hand out of Tidus's and grabbed his bag, and then walked out of the room. Tidus followed him into the hall after bowing to the class (all laughing at Tidus's tactic) and then fell into step behind him. Roxas was more than slightly annoyed with Tidus now, but the other blonde didn't seem to be fazed by the aura annoyance that Roxas was sure he was emitting- Axel could always tell when to back off because he annoyed the blonde, but Tidus didn't seem to have gotten that message yet.

Then, Roxas heard a deep sigh behind him and he was turned around and his back was pressed against a locker. Tidus held his left wrist at his side and had a glint in his eyes daring Roxas to try and get away. Roxas blew the hair away from his forehead and asked Tidus what he wanted.

"I want an answer," Tidus said while smirking.

"No."

"That's not an aaanswer," Tidus sang.

"It is too, and don't talk to me like that," Roxas said, purposely speaking in monotone.

"Just say yes, Roxas, and I'll let you go," he said. The smirk had still not left his face.

Roxas sighed. "You know, I could just say yes and then not go," he said.

"Yeah, but then you'd owe me."

"_Fine_. I'll go," Roxas said. "But, I've never seen a volleyball game, so I'll have no idea what's happening," he told Tidus.

"That's okay!" Tidus said, letting his grip on Roxas's wrist lax, but still keeping skin-to-skin contact. "I'll explain it all to you!" Then, he put his arm around Roxas's shoulders and led him down the hall and down the stairs to Creative Writing, all while teaching Roxas the basics of volleyball.

By the time they were in Proficiency, Roxas understood that there were six players on each team, and the concept was to get the ball over the net and hit the floor on the other side; but, if the ball landed on the floor outside of the box that they played in, the other team got the point. Tidus was a good teacher, and even pulled out paper and drew diagrams for Roxas to make sure he understood what he was trying to say.

Then, English class came and Roxas was actually looking forward to watching the game with Tidus. _Wait, no..._ Not _with_ Tidus. Just, watching the game. Sure, Tidus was going to be there, right next to him, explaining more as it was happening, but he wasn't watching the game with Tidus. He was watching the game... next to Tidus.

Selphie walked in the room and then tackled Roxas with a big hug. "Yay! Roxas's gonna be at my game!!!" she said, and then kissed his cheek. "You'll have lots of fun; Tidus'll make sure of it!" Then, she went and sat down next to Kairi.

Mr. Ishikawa started the class, talking about the last canto in The Inferno- a boring subject compared to Axel telling him about an incident with Demyx and Hayner back home. Apparently, Hayner brought in a bag of gummy worms, and put a few in Demyx's hair along with crushed up cookies to look like dirt. Demyx freaked out, and ran around the gym cursing Hayner for putting worms in his hair.

It was all Roxas could do to keep a straight face.

"Mr. Strife, if there something amusing about Dante's pilgrimage?"

The class turned around and smirked, knowing that he had been caught with a phone in Mr. Ishikawa's class, a very dangerous rule to break. But, Roxas nodded, and caught Tidus's confused look. "I thought it was interesting that Dante the Poet portrayed the center of Hell so cold, when the Bible clearly states that it's a sea of fire, doesn't it?"

Mr. Ishikawa nodded and changed his discussion into why the book was considered controversial in its early days. Tidus smiled at him and reached across the row to slap his hand, "_good job_," he mouthed to Roxas; Roxas couldn't help feeling very smug for having fooled Mr. Ishikawa.

* * *

Roxas, as per his routine the past month, went to his locker after class and almost left the building to walk back to the house. Then, Wakka clapped him on the shoulder and said, "Hey, man, game's tonight! We're all going over to Kai's house before, you're coming, right?"

He looked up at the redhead, and suddenly felt smaller than he knew he was. Sure, Wakka was almost a head and a half taller than he, but that didn't mean that he had to feel two inches tall next to the other senior. "Um... yeah, I just..."

"Forgot?" Wakka asked, steering Roxas away from the front doors and leading him down to the gym. Roxas nodded and tried subtly to shake Wakka's arm off his shoulders. Once out in the parking lot behind the school, Wakka led them to his car, where Kairi, Selphie, Sora, Riku, and Tidus were all waiting. Roxas looked at the car- a mid-sized sedan- and wondered if they were going to have to all fit in it. "Found 'im, guys!" Wakka said, pushing Roxas forward into the group.

Roxas, unfortunately, was not expecting to be pushed, and tripped. He _would_ have fell on the pavement, but Wakka was nice enough to push him into Tidus's arms. Tidus immediately caught him and set him upright and then glared at Wakka for pushing the little blonde; Roxas was grateful, but wished Tidus wasn't so much like Axel.

"Well, are we gonna walk, or is Wakka driving?" Selphie asked.

"I'd rather we walked, with gas so expensive," Wakka complained.

"But it's a fifteen minute walk!" Sora whined. "Even _my_ dad says that's too far to walk, and he's _military!_"

While the others argued over whether or not they would walk or not, Kairi and Roxas looked at each other and shrugged. "I've walked farther before," Roxas said.

Kairi agreed and said, "Do you wanna just go? We'll probably beat them to my house even if they decided to drive." Roxas smiled and nodded, and they left the group.

It was a quiet walk through the athletic fields, and then onto a back road. Neither bothered talking- Roxas was relieved that he didn't have to say anything to Kairi because he didn't even know her. She wasn't as talkative as Selphie, but could get into talking moods. Roxas had seen her in one of these moods, and it added to his relief that she wasn't in one right now.

After five minutes of walking, she steered them onto another side road. It was a bunch of similar houses- a suburb community. The lawns were all cut to the same height, and every now and then there would be a shrub fence between the houses. Ten minutes of walking- an uphill walk- and they passes a line of tall spruce trees. On the other side was a smaller house than the others, and Kairi walked up to this one and walked in. Roxas noticed that the spruce trees were on the other side of the house, too, and the lilac bushes in the front of the house were getting much taller than would be allowed in the zoning laws.

Roxas followed Kairi inside and took off his shoes. "Are your parents scared of the neighbors?" he asked.

Kairi laughed. "No, not really. How can they, when they're never home? No, it was simply for privacy," she said.

"Where are they?" Roxas asked, petting the German Shepherd that was sitting next to him begging for attention.

"They work in Radiant Garden," Kairi said, looking out the window and then saying, "I told you we'd beat them here, didn't I?" She stood in the doorway and held the dog back while the others got into the house.

Sora hugged Roxas when he came in and had his shoes removed. "I thought you had just gone home and abandoned us!" Roxas smiled and sat down on one of the couches while Sora went to the TV and pulled out the DDR pads and started up the game. Selphie sat on the other couch with Kairi and Riku, and Wakka stood behind Sora.

Tidus came and sat next to Roxas, and asked, "Have you ever played?"

"No," Roxas said, watching Sora and Wakka set up for a round. Selphie and Kairi both gasped, and Riku sighed.

"I guess that means that he's up first," Riku said and waved his hand.

"Wait, what?" Roxas asked while Tidus pulled him off the couch.

"I'll do it with you," Tidus said, and stood on the other pad while Roxas watched him pick a song. "It'll be an easy one, don't worry," Tidus said. Everyone else was sitting and smiling; Roxas felt like he was going to be put through a humiliating torture. "Basically," Tidus said while the song was loading, "if the arrow points up, step up. Same for the left and right and down arrows. It's really simple, and this is one of the easiest songs."

Then the song started and Roxas watched while the arrows started flying to the top of the screen. Tidus was running around the pad while Roxas was struggling just to remember his left from his right. Everyone was laughing at his inability to follow the arrows. Finally, halfway through the song, Roxas stepped off the pad and knelt down and started to slap the direction that the arrows were pointing; this made the others laugh even harder and Roxas was laughing with them.

After the song, he resolved to visit more often and get better at the game, and Kairi was happy to agree to helping him. Tidus sat next to him again on the couch while Sora and Wakka played a few rounds, then the girls battled, and then Sora and Riku went, then Wakka and Tidus. Roxas didn't play again, but it was fun just watching everyone else enjoy the game.

Then, Selphie looked at the clock and said that they needed to be at the school in three minutes. The DDR pads were hastily shoved into the cabinet below the TV, and everyone started to pile into Wakka's car. Riku sat in the front, and Selphie and Kairi sat in the back with Sora. Tidus was about to push Sora aside to make room for himself when Roxas spoke up, "How are we all going to fit?"

Wakka stopped and looked at the back of his car and wondered the same thing aloud. Then, Kairi sat on Selphie's lap and Sora moved into the middle. "Roxas can sit on Tidus's lap!" Sora said, and Tidus locked eyes with Roxas, who was not fond of the idea of sitting on anyone's lap other than Axel's.

Tidus shook his head. "You know, I think I'll walk with Roxas," he said. "We'll see you guys at the school in a few, okay?"

Roxas smiled and they started walking down the road together. Again, the walk was quiet, but Tidus walked closer to him than Kairi did. Roxas could tell that Tidus wanted to talk to him about something, but he didn't really want to pry, and so didn't say anything.

Tidus must have been waiting for the moment to ask, and the moment hadn't come until they were standing out in the athletic field. Tidus grabbed Roxas's hand and spun him around. "Can I drive you home afterwards, Roxas?"

"Um..." Roxas thought about what he was being asked, then responded slowly, "Riku was going to drive Sora and me back, actually." Tidus sighed, then mumbled something. "What?" Roxas asked.

"It's always Riku," Tidus said, then walked past Roxas a few steps. Roxas, confused, followed him those few steps, and then the other blonde turned around again and said, "You're gay, right?"

"I'm not sure what that has to do with anything, but I consider myself Axel-sexual for the record," Roxas answered.

"But, you would answer me a question if I asked, right?"

"Sure, Tidus," Roxas said.

"Who is better-looking: me or Riku?"

Roxas looked at Tidus and compared him to the image of Riku he had in his mind. Both had nice eyes- Riku had a strange shade of aquamarine, but Tidus had a beautiful shade of light blue. Riku had prettier hair, but Tidus's looked softer and he styled it so it made his face look sweeter. Riku and Tidus both had strong bodies- Riku got his from fencing and struggle, but Tidus got his from the various sports he played. Both were the same height, and so Roxas was torn in his decision. He knew that Tidus was relying on him to boost his confidence, but he couldn't decide without throwing his personal opinion into the mix.

"I'm not sure..." Roxas said.

"Then tell me, if you had to choose between me or Riku, who would you pick?"

Roxas sighed and looked up at the sky. He'd known Riku longer, had practically spent three years with him very close. Tidus, he'd only known for a little over a month, but he already knew more about the other blonde than he did about Riku. Riku had a bad-boy attitude, like he knew he was sexy and could have any girl he wanted. Tidus had a confident aura, but he wasn't conceited.

If he had to choose...

"I'd pick you, Tidus," he said, then walked past him to the gym. He could see Tidus smiling like an idiot out of the corner of his eye. Roxas knew he had helped Tidus understand that there are people out there that could want him, but he couldn't help the feeling that he had betrayed Axel in some way by saying what he did.

* * *

Kairi and Selphie's team won the match, and it was a loud celebration in the gym that they had won their last game and would be going to the tournament on the weekend. They won each game only by two or three points, but it was enough to win them the match.

Roxas said his congratulations and goodbyes, and then went with Sora and Riku to Riku's car. On the way, they passed Wakka and Tidus walking to their cars. Tidus's head was hung and Wakka was shaking his head and talking. Roxas couldn't hear what Wakka said, but Sora rolled down his window and called to them that they'll see them tomorrow and Roxas heard Wakka say, "He's taken, Tidus," before they drove away.

He sighed, knowing that Wakka was talking about him. Roxas had a feeling that Tidus had a bad crush on him, but if it was bad enough that Wakka was telling him off for it, Roxas wondered what Tidus really thought of him.

For the first time since he woke up, Roxas looked at his phone. Three missed calls, two voice messages, and five texts, all from Axel. The latest said, _where ru??? ans me!_

Quickly, Roxas texted back, _I was w/ Sora n friends. Srry 4 not responding. Call me in 10 min_.

Ten minutes later, Roxas was sitting on his bed down in the basement, next to Sora, and fiddling with his phone and listening to Sora talk about the amusing incidents that seem to always happen around him. Then, the phone vibrated in his hands and he saw a picture of his boyfriend flash on his phone. He flipped it open and said, "Hey Ax." Sora smiled and left the room so he could have some privacy.

There was a sigh of relief on the other end. **"I've been trying to talk to you all day!"**

"Why? What's today?"

Axel chuckled. **"One year ago today, you kissed me for the first time."**

Roxas blushed, remembering that day when Axel asked him what he would do if he could get Roxas away from Lydia for awhile. They continued chatting about nothing up until Sora came back downstairs and said that they needed to go to bed. Roxas said "goodbye" and "I love you" about ten times before Axel let him hang up. Then, he sighed and fell asleep smiling.

* * *

Disclaimer: lol. Me? Own Kingdom Hearts? That's amusing...

A/N: yay... not. This took forever and it didn't even do anything, really... crap.

Review?


	4. LoveGame

Lovegame

_New. That's what it was._

_Not unexpected. Just new._

_Well… maybe a little unexpected._

_But fire loves to be stroked and fed._

_He knew exactly what games to play to appeal to the fire._

(line)

Demyx threw his cigarette on the ground and stepped on it. Just four months ago, he considered smoking a nasty habit and refused to even be around people who smoked. But, then Axel stopped talking to him and Roxas's friends wouldn't speak to him because of the lack of Roxas to keep them together.

Then Xigbar started talking to him in jazz band. Xigbar is the band's drummer, and they were close enough to share jokes. After that, Demyx started hanging out with Xigbar after school and by the end of September, Demyx had already tried several brands of cigarettes and had his share of pot and crack. He wasn't a fan of the crack, but the pot effect was nice. At least Xigbar had been there to keep him from making an ass of himself.

He cringed when he thought about Xigbar. At least he had a good friend, but the other teen was a little more touchy-feely than Demyx was comfortable with. He was a good friend, but Xigbar liked to walk around the school and randomly take Demyx around the waist and lead him to class. No one bothered them- Xigbar was constantly drugged up and liked fighting anyway. So, at least now, Demyx didn't have to worry about those idiots in his grade that had always poked fun at him in some way, because Xigbar gave them one look the first time they tried to do it and they avoided him since them.

It was nice, knowing that someone was standing up for him, but Demyx wished it were someone else. Someone with bright red hair and green eyes…

Axel was walking up the sidewalk, toward him. Demyx quickly threw a piece of gum in his mouth and stuffed the wrapper in his pocket. They were going down to the creek for a take-home lab: basic water quality testing. Demyx had a plan for getting close to Axel, and it involved getting Axel wet. He felt bad for doing this, but Axel was a man now, and certainly couldn't wait around for Roxas to get back from wherever he had gone next summer. It was already mid-October. If Axel and Roxas had been sexually active (and Demyx was sure they were), then Axel would only be able to hold out for a few more weeks before he'll be begging anyone to fuck with him. Or, at least, Demyx was hoping. And, maybe, Axel will beg Demyx…

"Hi Dem," Axel said when they were next to each other.

Demyx gave Axel a sweet smile and said "hi" too.

"Did you get the pH test from Ms. Burgett?"

"Yeah," Demyx said, patting his bag where he had put the small kit before school got out. He had made sure that he had everything- he didn't want any distractions. He even remembered two clipboards, one for him and one for Axel, so they could even do the questions together on the bank of the creek.

"Then, shall we?" Axel held out his arm, motioning towards the creek. Demyx was tempted to take Axel's arm and walk with him with their arms linked, but he didn't. Axel was still Roxas's boyfriend until he decided to cheat. Until _Axel_ came to Demyx, he could resist the temptations.

It was a comfortable silence that they walked in, like they were already a couple. It was nice for both of them, Demyx guessed, because Axel liked to just walk with Roxas… maybe, he was beginning to see that Demyx could be just as good a partner as Roxas.

They were walking down the side of the bank when Demyx felt the ground slide under his feet. He caught himself without drawing Axel's attention from in front of him. Demyx thought briefly, and then decided that his new plan would work very well. He let his hand slip from the tree branch he was holding onto, and yelped a little, sliding (somewhat out of control) down the slope, past Axel.

Just as he had thought, Axel reached out for him and grabbed his wrist. Demyx, not wanting to be saved just yet, leaned his weight backwards and pulled Axel on top of him, acting startled while they continued to fall down the slope.

Demyx, admittedly, was a little frightened that they would end up in the water- what if Axel couldn't swim? He had never asked Axel why he was so reluctant to come down here with him to do the lab. Maybe he was afraid of water- they were falling toward the deep end of the creek, and if Axel couldn't swim, they both might drown.

So, when Axel stopped them before they reached the water, both boys exhaled deep sighs of relief. And, Demyx was very happy with their ending position- legs tangled together and Axel mostly on top of him. Demyx had his arms tucked in close and Axel's strong arms were wrapped around him. The redhead lifted his head up and looked to his left, and Demyx followed his gaze- the water was about three feet away. He closed his eyes and breathed in and out.

He looked up, and Axel was staring down at Demyx, his lips slightly parted and breathing heavily. _Adrenaline_, Demyx guessed, from rolling down the slope. That didn't matter, because the gleam that Axel had in his eyes was enough confirmation for Demyx that he had been denied carnal pleasure for too long. Demyx only had to tip his head up slightly before Axel covered his mouth with his lips.

Hands sought out for each other, and Demyx laced their fingers together while sliding his tongue along Axel's lips, drinking in the sound of the redhead's sighs and moaning. Demyx moved Axel's hand down his body, to his thigh, and Axel got the idea and started caressing the outside of the blonde's jeans. Demyx moaned at the touch- this was so much better than Xigbar's touches. Xigbar was always rushed and hard, but Axel's touch was soft and careful, but still had all of the lust of a hard grip.

Demyx started touching, too, starting with Axel's waist. While he messaged Axel's tongue, he lightly ran his fingers along the thin shirt's seam, slowly lifting it up so he could touch the smooth skin he had felt in his dream just the other night. His heart was racing, and he knew what he was doing was wrong because Axel was taken and he was taking advantage of the redhead's unsatisfied sex drive… but Demyx couldn't care, especially when Axel's hand drifted from his outer thigh to his inner thigh and higher up, to his crotch.

He almost broke the kiss to moan and beg for Axel to just fuck him now and get it over with, but he didn't want any of it to end, ever. So, his eyes shot open and he groaned into the kiss and lifted his hips to Axel's hand. He gripped Axel's waist and slipped his hands under the shirt, feeling Axel shiver- he hoped he was shivering from his touch and not the cool autumn air. Both are nice, but Demyx was sure that being touched for the first time in almost two months would be nicer.

Axel pulled away from the kiss, but kept his eyes on Demyx, watching him react to his touches. And, Demyx decided to give him and show.

Axel ran the back of his hand along the bulge in Demyx's pants. A little moan escaped from Demyx's throat.

Axel reached and fondled where Demyx's balls were. An arch in the back never killed anyone, and it didn't kill Demyx, though he couldn't hold it for long.

Axel reached farther back and kneaded Demyx's left cheek. Demyx shifted a little, so Axel was closer to his hole and bit his lip to keep a deep moan in. This seemed to make Axel a little frustrated, because he then leaned down and hissed in Demyx's ear, "I like the noise, so _make some_."

And then, Axel licked the shell of Demyx's ear and he let himself be loud.

But, then Demyx tried to reach into Axel's pants and the redhead stopped suddenly. He backed up and sat back on his heels. He straightened his shirt and held his chest. Demyx sat up on his elbows, still breathing heavily, and asked, "What? Did I do something wrong?"

Axel looked at Demyx and gave him the saddest look he could. "I just cheated on Roxas…"

Demyx groaned quietly. "It's not like he'll know," he whispered to himself.

But Axel heard. "Like I'd keep this from him! He deserves to know how much of an ass I am…"

Demyx crawled over to him and stroked Axel's soft cheek, pressing his thumb lightly to his lips (still wet and slick from kissing). "Axel," he cooed, "You know that when you go into a long-distance relationship, it's considered to be open, right?"

Axel glared. "What are you saying?"

Demyx saw his chance- if not to be with Axel emotionally, then physically. "By Roxas going away for a long time, he silently gave you permission to sleep around if you have to." Demyx slid his hand down Axel's body, reveling in the chills that the redhead experienced from the feeling. "After all," he continued, down farther, "lust can only be contained for so long." With that, Demyx flicked the button on Axel's pants open and slid down the zipper.

Axel tried a few more times to come up with a good reason why Roxas wouldn't give him that choice, but then Demyx's head was in his crotch, licking and sucking and blowing and then, Axel was lost and couldn't control it anymore. He gave in to the urges and leaned up against a tree and stretched his legs out to the side.

(line)

The lab went well, and Demyx held him around the waist all the way to his house. This plan had gone much better, and he didn't have to get Axel wet- well, not by getting him in the creek, at least. The taste of Axel's cum was still in his mouth when he dropped Axel off. He didn't bother giving Axel a kiss good-bye, because that's what lovers do, not fuck-buddies.

Instead, he looked Axel up and down, and then took the redhead's phone out of his pocket. He put his number on the screen, and winked, then left Axel on his porch with his phone. He saw out of the corner of his eye Axel saving the number to his phonebook, and then going inside. Demyx was happy. At least he had some sort of relationship with Axel.

(line)

Axel got home and attempted to sign on to his IM, but then he thought about Roxas possibly being on, and he turned his computer off instead. He sat on his bed and looked out his window.

Something fluttered next to his face, and he turned to the right. He grabbed at it, and pulled it inside- a piece of paper. A note.

_Cheater, Cheater… what would Roxas think? What would he do if he found out? Would he come back? Yell at you and leave again? You're making this too easy, Axel._

Axel fell back against his pillow, looked over at the still open window and sighed. What would Roxas say? He had just gotten a blowjob from Demyx. What did that say about him? He couldn't even hold on until Christmas. And, somehow, Lydia knew, too.

Axel rolled onto his side and curled up around a pillow. He thought more about the session he and Demyx had at the bank. That was his and Roxas's spot. He defiled it by being there like that with Demyx. Axel could never take Roxas there again, because it would remind him of Demyx. He could never focus on Roxas if they were there.

Only that totally amazing blow he got from Demyx.

Where had Demyx learned how to do that?

Axel felt tears at his eyes, and he leaned over and got his phone out, and flipped it open- it was four-thirty. Roxas would be hanging out with Sora now. Sora had called him once a few weeks ago and let him know that Roxas would not be available until after eight o'clock. So, instead, he called Zexion.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Zex," Axel said.

"Tell me what's wrong."

And Axel did. He told him everything, because if he didn't, it would eat him from the inside out. "I'm a terrible person…"

"No. You're not. You lasted longer than most men can expect to considering the circumstances," Zexion said. "I know I would have given in about a month ago, especially considering how much Demyx was chasing after you and tempting you."

This didn't make Axel feel much better. He asked if he should call Roxas later and tell him, and Zexion confirmed that coming clean as quickly as possible is the best thing to do. Roxas would be more likely to forgive him if he told him right away, Zexion figured.

"So, what, do I say?"

"The truth is the best way, I guess," Zexion said. "I've never cheated before, so I can't give you good advice…"

Axel sighed. "Thanks anyway, Zexy."

"I'm going to hang up because you called me that. Good night."

Zexion hung up and Axel laughed as best he could.

Now he just had to wait for eight. Then, he would be talking to Roxas…

He was not looking forward to that.

(line)

Disclaimer: I own my plot, my poster, my bed, and my fiancé. Nothing else.

A/N: And now, for a moment of randomness…

…

…

LOL BATWEASELS FOR THE WIN!!!

Cyhyr will see you all in Abuse in a week or so.


	5. All I Want

All I Want

_It's been awhile now, hasn't it?_

_You already know about me, About how I feel for you._

_But, you're invading my thoughts and dreams…_

_Pretty soon, I won't be able to live without you._

_And, I think you feel the same way…_

* * *

The first frost in Midgar brought about the new season of sports. Tidus tried relentlessly to get Roxas to try out for a sport, saying that gym class alone wasn't going to keep him cute. Roxas would smirk and say that Axel would love him even if he became overweight, so he had nothing to worry about. Besides, living with Uncle Cid had been good for his metabolism- he had never eaten so healthy in his life.

Tidus tried to get Sora to talk him into it, but Sora saw through that right away. "Tidus, he has a boyfriend. Stop trying now, before you get yourself hurt."

No one was on his side. So, basketball tryouts came and went, and he and Wakka were on the team, along with Riku, and neither of them would help him get closer to Roxas. At least, because their schedules were so similar, he and Roxas were able to partner in every assignment, and Tidus had taken to sitting next to Roxas during lunch and making excuses for not sitting next to Wakka. Roxas always found his excuses amusing and would laugh.

"You're so funny, Tidus," Roxas would comment occasionally.

"I try," Tidus would say back. He wanted to tell Roxas why he tried to be so funny, but figured that Roxas wasn't ready to know yet. At least, Tidus wasn't ready to tell him. Hell, Tidus wasn't ready to even admit it to himself. Instead, he tells Roxas that he has a pretty laugh that makes the sun shine even in Midgar. This gets Roxas to blush cutely and all of their friends to glare at him for talking to Roxas like that.

One day, he stood outside the main doors of the school before the first bell, and then Cid drove up and dropped off Riku and Sora, but no Roxas. Tidus felt his mood die instantly, and he walked up to Sora and asked about his missing cousin.

"Roxas was called back home for the weekend. He left this morning," Sora answered. Riku walked past Tidus and put a folded paper in his hand before going off to class. Tidus quickly pocketed it and walked with Sora to first period. Sora said, "See you later," and then went into his room. Tidus kept walking and went into Mythology alone.

It felt so weird not having Roxas there to poke fun with. He just stayed quiet the whole class and took notes. He felt the teacher's eyes on him the whole time, but left as soon as the bell rang. The rest of the day was similar- at least he had gym class to relieve the stress.

Finally, English was done, and he made to leave; he had practice right after school. But, Mr. Ishikawa had another idea, one brought up by Wakka before school and confirmed by Tidus's mother during lunch. "Tidus, stay after for a moment," he said before the blond could get out the door. Tidus groaned a little, but went back and sat down. Wakka put his hand on Tidus's shoulder and whispered that he'd tell the coach that he might be a little late.

After everyone else had left the room, Tidus was done with formalities. "Auron, why am I here? I'm sure that if my school work wasn't up to standard, you'd just ground me, so what's up?"

"Just because I'm your step-father doesn't mean I can't give you detention for being cheeky," Auron said. He finished a paper he was grading for another class and then looked up at Tidus. "Why do you like him?"

Tidus rolled his eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Auron sighed. "Which would you rather I do, then? Ground you or give you detentions indefinitely?"

"For what?"

"For being an idiot!" Auron collected himself. "What is it about that boy that has you so enthralled?"

"Roxas?" Auron nodded and Tidus thought for a moment. "I don't know, Auron. What was it about my dad?"

Auron looked away, stood up, and then went over and sat on the desk in front of Tidus. "Jecht was a cocky bastard."

"But you still loved him," Tidus pointed out. "Roxas is the exact opposite of Dad, and I think that's why…"

Auron sighed. "I'll be over later. We'll go to dinner with your mother. What do you want?"

Tidus smirked. "I just want Roxas."

Auron slapped him lightly and chuckled. "Get to practice. If you hurry, you might make it before your coach gets there." Tidus ran out of the room and down the stairs to the gym. He felt a little better, but the weekend without Roxas was going to be close to unbearable.

After practice, he remembered the note that Riku gave him before class this morning. He read it after he changed out of his gym clothes.

_Roxas received a threatening letter from some "Lydia" freak and went home to discuss it with his Dad. He might not even be back. Get used to him not being around._

* * *

Axel had wanted to talk to him face to face, and Roxas was scared. He didn't know if that meant that Axel was breaking up with him or something else. He hoped it was the something else, but he couldn't think of what the something else could be.

But, the redhead didn't come to the house Friday night when he arrived. He made up an excuse of having to finish math homework before he gets distracted by Roxas being home. Roxas had laughed, but felt that Axel was lying to him. It didn't matter much, because Roxas enjoyed the time he had with his dad and Aeris, and it made it better because they seemed like a proper family. It's been better with Axel there, but it was nice with just the three of them.

The next morning was beautiful and Roxas had every intention of going to see Hayner, Pence, and Olette for a little while. Then, he'd go and hang out with Demyx. Finally, spend dinner and the rest of the night with Axel. The day was going to be good; he hadn't been allowed to communicate with anyone other than Axel via phone, and he was eager to see his friends again.

"Roxas?"

Cloud had come into the kitchen, where Roxas was eating breakfast. "Yeah, Dad?"

"What would you say about coming back?"

Roxas tilted his head to the side. "What do you mean?"

Cloud sighed. "Sending you to Midgar did nothing. Lydia… she knows where you are. The whole point of sending you away was to keep her in the dark about your whereabouts." He sat down next to Roxas and put his arm around Roxas's shoulders. "I'd feel better if you come home, where I can keep an eye on you."

Roxas shook his head. "Dad, Uncle Cid's on a military base. No one gets in without the guards knowing them. Lydia can't get me there. Besides, Sora's been making sure that I don't go anywhere without someone. I'm safer in Midgar than here, I think." Roxas turned to his dad and continued, "I'd love to come back, Dad, but if we're talking safety, I'm better off in Midgar."

Cloud thought for a bit while Roxas continued to eat his cereal. Finally, he nodded. "You're right, Roxas."

"Can I go out now?"

"Did you get your homework done?"

"On the train yesterday," Roxas replied.

Cloud nodded. "Just let Axel know that you'll be leaving again tomorrow morning."

"Can I take the bike?"

Cloud sighed. "Yeah, I guess." Roxas shrugged and went out to the garage with his dad. Cloud watched Roxas while the little blond put on his helmet and a leather jacket and drove the bike out of the garage and over to his Hayner's house.

None of them were home. He went to Hayner's house, but his mother said that Hayner had gone north for the weekend for snowboarding with Pence and Olette. Roxas sighed and asked her to say "hi" for him when Hayner got home. She smiled at him and said that she would.

"Also, could you tell him to email me? I hardly ever hear from him anymore…"

"Of course, sweetie," she said.

Roxas started towards Demyx's house next, but his sister said that he was at Axel's. Roxas's face lit up; he'd get to see his boyfriend and best friend all in one shot! He quickly drove to Axel's house and parked behind two cars that he knew weren't Val's or Reno's. He wondered whose they were while he went up to the door. He knocked quickly and had to wait for only a moment before Reno opened the door and screamed.

"Angel!!!"

Reno picked him up, hugged him tightly, and spun him around in a circle. When Roxas was nice and dizzy, Reno put him down and said, "Hey, Axel just got over his whinny mode! You should go see him!"

Roxas nodded and went for the stairs, hearing Reno call out to the garden that they need to have a big celebratory dinner because Roxas came home. Roxas smiled and went up to his boyfriend's room. But, before he got there, he stopped. He heard arguing. He thought for a moment, and identified the voices. Demyx and Zexion, and maybe… Lexaeus?

But no Axel…

Roxas knocked on the door, and all the talking stopped. The door opened and Lexaeus smiled sadly down at him. "Welcome home, kid," he said and then stood aside so Roxas could come in. He saw Axel sitting on the bed and Demyx was right next to him.

They were holding hands.

Zexion got in-between Axel and Demyx and turned to Axel. "I told you it was going to bite you in the ass," he said, and then dragged Demyx out of the room. Lex followed them, and Roxas was left with a downcast Axel.

Roxas was close to freaking out. He had thought once, last year, that Demyx had gotten Axel to cheat on him, and he had been wrong. But the way that Demyx had been close to his boyfriend, and the lack of Axel even trying to push Demyx away…

No. It's not happening. _Axel loves me. He wouldn't cheat on me. Not with my best friend… right…?_

After a moment of silence, Axel spoke to the floor. "I tried to tell you two weeks ago," he said. "It was one time but Demyx seemed to think that-"

"Your excuse is that it was only 'one time'?" Roxas whispered.

"Will you please let me finish???" Axel yelled, looking up. Roxas saw tears at the edge of the green eyes he loved and his heart broke. He sank to the floor and waited for Axel to continue. The redhead sighed, pinched his nose and blinked back the tears. "I wanted to tell it to you in person because I couldn't over the phone. Two weeks ago, remember, I called you and tried to tell you something… that was it. That I cheated because I couldn't control myself."

Roxas thought about it. Axel was sorry for doing it, it only happened once, and he kept it from happening again. But, if it was done and over with, why was Demyx still here? Why did Demyx hold his hand like that was _his_ job, and not Roxas's?

Roxas crawled over to Axel and put his head in the redhead's lap. Axel slowly lifted his hand and pet his hair. Roxas sighed. He wrapped his arms around Axel's waist.

They stayed this way for a few minutes, and then Axel picked Roxas up off the floor and pulled him onto the bed, and Roxas cuddled on Axel's chest. He hoped that Axel understood this to mean that he accepted his apology… that didn't mean that he trusted Axel already. Axel soon fell asleep; Roxas smiled. Axel probably hadn't been able to sleep well since August. He placed a kiss on Axel's lips and then slipped out of the room. He went downstairs and saw Zexion and Demyx arguing in low tones.

They stopped when Roxas entered the living room, and Zexion backed off. Demyx stared at his former best friend, and Roxas said to Demyx, "Why?"

Demyx shrugged. "Because I met him first. Because I fell in love with him first."

Roxas nodded, turned away for a moment, and then came back and landed a nasty right hook on Demyx's face. Reno stood up immediately and grabbed Roxas around his waist and pulled him away from the other blond before more damage could be done. Lexaeus picked up Demyx as the blonde looked like he was going to advance on Roxas.

"Stay the hell away from my boyfriend, Demyx!" Roxas said before Reno pulled him out of the room.

* * *

Tidus was on the frozen soccer field, Sunday night, walking around and moping. He was thinking about the note that Riku gave him on Friday. Roxas might not be coming back. How could he be ready for that? Roxas just left and now he might not be back…. No, Roxas would be back. At least, he'd come back to say good-bye. Roxas wasn't mean, he wouldn't leave him for good without telling him.

Sure, basketball games would be starting soon, and then Blitzball in the spring, so he would be busy. But, that didn't mean that he could focus. What if he couldn't focus for blitzball? His team would need him; not to brag, but Tidus knew he was the star player for the team. No one could swim faster, or had a stronger tackle, than Tidus. Tidus knew that his coach would be pulling out all the stops for him to get as much play time as possible this season, in case a scout for a national team was watching.

He had to be able to focus.

And, he couldn't do that while thinking that Roxas didn't care about him. At least, he could care enough to say good-bye.

Tidus looked up at the gray sky. The sun wasn't able to get through the clouds today. He sighed, and remembered something Auron used to say to him. _"Outside the dream would, life can be harsh- even cruel, but it is life." _Maybe, Tidus just had to wake up. Sure, it'll suck for a while, but he'll get used to it.

He walked around the field once more before heading back to the school. There, leaning against the building, hood covering most of the blond hair (a few of his bangs poked out, trying to light to world up with their brilliance, making up for the sun) and sapphire blue eyes downcast to the side, was the boy that made Tidus so worried that he would be lost for the rest of the year. Tidus quickened his step, hoping that he wasn't hallucinating, and called out for the blond.

"Roxas!"

Tidus felt his heart leap to his throat when he saw the blond's hear tip up and look at him. He couldn't help it; he smiled, even though he could tell that Roxas wasn't smiling. At least, not the way he was expecting Roxas to smile. He ran to Roxas and pulled the blond into a tight hug, spinning him around. Roxas giggled, and this made Tidus so much happier than he would have thought he was able to be.

"You came home!" Tidus said. Well, he practically squealed, but he put Roxas down safely. He kept his hands on Roxas's waist and pushed Roxas's back against the wall, putting their foreheads together.

Roxas, hesitantly, put his arms up and around Tidus's neck and looked up at him. "Yeah, I came home," Roxas said. His voice was scratchy, like he had been crying. Tidus cocked an eyebrow, wondering why his voice was like that.

He sighed and stepped back. Roxas's arms fell back to his sides, but he stayed looking at the taller blond. "What's wrong, Roxas?" Tidus asked.

Roxas shook his head. "I don't know…"

Tidus gave him a minute to think, and then said, "You know what I think?" Roxas shrugged and sighed. Tidus tilted Roxas's chin up, and smiled softly. "You need some food. Wanna go out for some?"

Roxas smiled a little, and nodded. Tidus, seeing this as his chance, offered his arm out to Roxas, which made the little blonde smile wider and even laugh a bit before he slipped his arm in Tidus's and let the other blond lead the way to some food.

Tidus walked them to the train station, and bought them both tickets for a place two sectors over. Confused, Roxas checked his ticket, and wondered why they had to go so far away from home just for food. He looked up at Tidus while they waited for the train, and then back at the ticket. Tidus caught him looking at him and knew that he must be wondering where they were headed. He leaned down and whispered, "You'll love it," and smirked at the shiver that Roxas made.

They boarded the train and sat on the bench. Roxas, initially, sat apart from Tidus, but as more people got on behind them and filled the benches, Roxas had to slide closer and closer to Tidus until they were hip-to-hip. His smile never faltering, Tidus put his arm around Roxas's shoulders and pulled him flush against his side. Roxas gasped and looked up at Tidus, and then relaxed against the other teen; he went so far as to put his head down on Tidus's shoulder, which made Tidus's hold on his shoulder tighten and his heart soar.

Finally, their stop came, and Tidus helped Roxas up and led the way out of the station. Roxas looked around while Tidus kept him close and walking in the right direction. After a few minutes of walking, they stopped and Tidus pulled his keys out of his pocket and unlocked a door. Roxas tilted his head to the side and bit his lip. Where were they going?

Tidus turned and held out his hand. "Coming?" he asked, and Roxas jumped forward and took the hand, following Tidus into the house.

Tidus walked a little ways in, and then toed his shoes off, signaling Roxas to do the same. "Auron! I'm back!"

Roxas looked up and saw their English teacher walking around a corner. Tidus had said that Mr. Ishikawa was a good friend of his dad, but were they good enough that Tidus had a key to the teacher's house? The man's face was carefully neutral. "You're late."

"Yeah," Tidus said, "but Roxas showed up and wanted some food."

Roxas waved.

Auron nodded. "There's still some rice and sushi on the counter. Help yourself," he said, and continued on to wherever he was heading in the house. Tidus nodded and took Roxas's hand and led him to a table, very low to the ground. Roxas knelt on one of the cushions while Tidus got them each a plate of food. Roxas felt like he was invading; that, and it was close to sunset, and he would have to be back at his Uncle's before then.

When Tidus came back with the plates and two pairs of chopsticks, Roxas looked at him like he was crazy. He had never used any of this, never had sushi. Tidus noticed Roxas's look and laughed. "Auron's kinda stuck in the past," Tidus explained. He showed Roxas how to hold the chopsticks and how to pick up the slices of sushi. Roxas learned it quickly, and then tried the sushi.

It wasn't terrible, but he would never willingly eat it again.

Tidus finished quickly and then watched Roxas fight with the chopsticks. He smiled the whole time, wishing that their time would never end. Then, he looked out the window, seeing the sun start to set. He stood up and took his plate over to the sink and rinsed it off. "Auron, I'm going back out with Roxas!" he called from the kitchen. Then, he walked back into the other room, where Roxas still was, and saw Auron sitting there next to the little blond.

"No need to yell," Auron said, calmly. "He's still eating. Give him time," he said, and then pointed back to the kitchen. "Get me some tea, would you, Tidus"

Tidus nodded and backed out of the room, listening hard to what Auron might be saying to Roxas while he heated up the tea on the stove. He pulled a mug down from the cupboard and then moved over to the doorway. He sat down and listened.

"I don't know, Mr. Ishikawa," Roxas said quietly. "I like him plenty, but I still love Axel."

"Even though he cheated on you?"

"Yeah," Roxas said. Tidus felt angry at this _Axel_. He'd heard about the boyfriend from Twilight Town, and he never liked him to begin with- he was competition, and had already claimed Roxas as his prize when Roxas wasn't a prize to be claimed. And, now, that same guy that Roxas fawned over day after day _cheated_ on the perfect little blond???

_I'll kill him! _he thought.

"But, it was only one time," Roxas continued. "And, he said he was sorry."

"Did he say it, or are you assuming that he's sorry through his tone?"

Roxas thought about that, and then remembered. Axel... never actually _said_ he was sorry. He sounded apologetic, but he never said it. "I just assumed…"

Auron hummed. "I assumed that Jecht would come home," he said, "because he wrote and said he had won the Luca cup."

Tidus stood up and pulled the tea off the stove. It was plenty warm now. He brought out the mug and the tea and put them both down on the table, letting Auron pour the tea himself. He knelt down next to Roxas and said, "Dad didn't come home because of me, Auron, and you know that."

Auron frowned at the blond, and Roxas gave him a confused look. "What does that mean? Did your dad not like you?"

He laughed. "_Like?_ My old man hated me."

"Tidus," Auron started, "your father wanted the best for you."

"Oh, so that's why he left mom and me constantly?"

Auron sighed. "You still can not be convinced. I understand." He looked at Roxas and then asked, "Would you like to stay the night? Going out on the streets around here is pretty dangerous, even if you have someone else with you."

Roxas nodded. "I'll have to call my Uncle first," he said. Tidus stood up and got the phone for Roxas, and then Roxas said, "thanks," and left the room to make the call.

Tidus went to the kitchen and got two more cups, some milk and sugar, and brought it all back to the table. Auron took one of the cups and poured the tea for Tidus, and then Tidus added his milk and sugar, and sipped at it. They both sat in silence until Roxas came back and put the phone on the table. "My Uncle says it's okay, as long as I get to school in the morning on time," he said. Auron nodded and gave him a mug of tea- Tidus put both the milk and sugar in his reach, and then let his hand drop.

Roxas looked over to the other blond as he was fixing his tea. Tidus's hand was on his thigh. It was… nice, actually. Like, how Axel used to do to calm him down.

Auron stood up. "I'm turning in. Make sure he's comfortable before you go to bed, Tidus," he said. As he was leaving the room, over his shoulder he said, "Don't stay up too late, you two. I'm sure I'll face the wrath of Roxas's Uncle if he's not at school in the morning."

Roxas sipped at his tea, while Tidus went over various conversation starters in his head. _"What did Axel do?"_ No, it was obvious that he was listening to their conversation before anyway. Being stupid would just make Roxas angry. _"What can I do to help?"_ But that would imply that Roxas wasn't strong enough to get through his boyfriend cheating on him.

"Are you still going out with him?" Tidus said. He didn't even think about that, but it definitely sounded desperate. Desperate was _not_ what he was going for.

Roxas hummed. "I am," he said quietly. He finished the rest of his tea and put the cup down on the table.

Tidus took his hand off of Roxas's leg. "Why? He obviously broke your heart."

"He did, didn't he?" Roxas mused. He turned and looked at Tidus, and Tidus recognized the look that Roxas was giving him. He would never get that look again, and even though Roxas was taken and all of their friends were opposed to any kind of relationship between them, Tidus leaned forward and put his hand of Roxas's face, softly bringing them a little closer together.

It was Roxas that closed the gap between them, pressing their lips together for just a moment. When they pulled away, Tidus sighed and smiled at him. "I've wanted to do that since the first day I met you, but I didn't want to make the first move," he said.

Roxas looked at him sadly. "It feels kind of wrong, cheating on Axel because he cheated on me. But," he smirked and moved in for another kiss, which Tidus happily returned, "it's quite a rush."

Tidus pulled him up and led him to his room. The door slid open quietly, and Roxas was hesitant in following Tidus in. He pulled on Roxas's hand gently and coxed Roxas in slowly. He slid the door closed behind him, looked at the light and decided to not bother with it. The moon was waning, but still bright, and its light coming through the window was enough to see the slender form of Roxas, standing in front of him. He took a step towards Roxas, but Roxas stepped back. Tidus knew that if he kept going backwards, he would fall onto the mattress (no bed, just a single mattress).

So, Tidus advanced. And Roxas backed up.

**(***lime***)**

Then, he fell down onto the bed and Tidus pounced on Roxas and attached their lips together. He got in-between Roxas's legs and grabbed the teen's hands and laced their fingers together above Roxas's head. They moved their mouths together and licked at each other's lips. Tidus moved both of Roxas's hands together and grabbed them in the same hand, and moved his other down Roxas's side lightly, then lifted up his shirt and moaned at the feel of Roxas's smooth skin under his hand.

Roxas pulled away and gasped Tidus's name, which only made Tidus more eager to touch him. Tidus tilted his head and blew on Roxas's ear; this made Roxas groan and buck his hips into Tidus's. Tidus gasped and felt his heart jump. "So," he whispered into Roxas's ear, making sure he was close enough that his lips moved against the teen's skin, "is that what you want?"

A quick nod.

"You want to grind with me?" Tidus moved his hips against Roxas's, getting the other blond to gasp and moan.

Roxas nodded again.

"You're sure?" Tidus wanted to be sure that this is what Roxas wanted. He didn't want to ruin their friendship because of this incident.

Roxas groaned, pulled his hands out of Tidus's, and pushed Tidus onto his back. He straddled Tidus quickly and attacked his lips and lightly nipped at them. Tidus held Roxas's hips tightly and began to grind upwards. Roxas would respond by circling his hips on Tidus. After a minute or so of this, Roxas pulled back, lifted his hips up and asked Tidus, "Do you still want to ask me questions?"

He rolled over onto his back, and Tidus eagerly climbed on and continued grinding on Roxas. Both of them started breathing hard and rapidly. It wasn't long before Tidus froze and started bucking, his pants getting wetter as the seconds passed. During that time, Roxas's own orgasm rocked his body, and he grabbed around Tidus's back and bit his shoulder to keep himself quiet.

**(***end lime***)**

After a moment of catching their breath, Tidus got up and pulled out a pair of sleep pants for Roxas and one for himself. He stripped and pulled on the pants, turned away so Roxas could do the same in a semblance of privacy. When he turned back around, Roxas was already curled up on the bed, and Tidus had to smile softly. He hadn't thought that he'd have the blond in his bed so quickly, but he wasn't going to complain.

He laid down next to Roxas and it seemed to be instinctive because Tidus swore that Roxas was already asleep, but Roxas turned over and put his head on his shoulder, an arm splayed across his chest. Tidus sighed and wrapped his arm around Roxas and fell asleep.

* * *

Disclaimer: The Spork rules the world. I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Two facts that will never change. *sigh*

A/N: I like my life. Don't kill me…

Reviews are nice. Constructive Criticism is better.


	6. I Miss You

I Miss You

_What if I had just told you, right away?_

_Would it all be different?_

_Would you still love me?_

_It is enough, anymore… that I still love you?_

_I hope so._

_Can we ever be us again?_

* * *

Axel banged his head back against his wall for the six-third time. It was also the tenth time he blew his hair out of his face, the thirtieth time he let his phone ring and ring and ring and then go to voicemail, the twenty-fifth time he'd cracked all of his knuckles, and the fifty-seventh minute he'd been sitting on his bed, his door locked and the lights all turned off.

He knew he messed up. He wished he could take it back. Go back to the first day he came to Twilight Town, and instead of helping Demyx, just ignored the blond's distress. But, he couldn't. What has happened is in the past, and all he can do is wait until Roxas forgives him.

Even if Roxas never forgives him.

Someone lightly knocks on his door, and he looked over, groaned and said, "Who is it?"

"Cloud's downstairs," Reno's voice came through the door. "He wants to talk to you."

Axel bit his lip, but pulled himself off the bed and out of the room. What if Cloud found out about his falling out with Roxas? He was pretty sure Cloud was still in the dark about them sleeping together in the first place, and then if he had found out about Axel cheating, too… he might never get to see Roxas again. But, Axel kept as neutral a face as he could, and stepped into the living room.

Cloud was smiling. So was his mom, and Reno, standing behind him, was also doing a little more than smirking. Axel raised an eyebrow and asked, "What's everyone so happy about?"

"She's gone, Axel," Val said.

_Lydia?_

"There was an accident," she continued.

"I think it was karma paying her back," Reno said.

Axel asked, "What… what happened?" There was a smile on his face, too, but he was wary- the woman had a way with staging shit. She could have easily staged her own death to make it seem like it was safe for both Roxas and Axel, and then strike when both of their guards were down.

"It was a vending machine," Cloud said. "It fell on her. A freak accident, but it still crushed her chest and head."

The room was silent for a while, waiting for the news to sink in. Axel saw the three adults looking between them, and then stare at him. But, he didn't know how to react. This woman had tortured Roxas for years, physically and emotionally. She'd led Cloud on long enough to marry him, and then turned around and screwed around with other guys.

For some reason, though… he couldn't find it in himself to be happy, and he didn't know why.

Still… "Does this mean that Roxas can come home?" he asked.

Cloud and Val looked at each other and Axel knew that look. It was a _how do we let him down softly_ look. Axel sighed, "Just tell me."

"I told Roxas last night," Cloud started, "he said he'd rather stay in Midgar at least until winter break."

_A month away…_

"Then, we'll get him back in school here, just in time for the new year."

"You two can be together again, Axe!" Reno clapped his hand on Axel's shoulder.

Axel bit his lip and turned around. "Yeah… great," he said and went back up to his room. He went back to the computer and sent a message to Zexion.

_Lydia's dead. What do I do now?_

* * *

Axel sat in the practice room, picking at a guitar and coming up with a new melody. Zexion hadn't been much help- he didn't know what to do about it either. Roxas was mostly likely going to be ecstatic that Lydia was gone forever, but not wanting to come home was odd for Roxas. Hadn't Roxas wanted to come home not even a month ago? What changed?

Axel had to point out that maybe Roxas didn't want to have to see his cheating boyfriend. Zexion, though he wanted to slap Axel for being like that, agreed that Axel might have a point, but there had to be something else.

"Maybe he likes the teachers there better?" Zexion asked. It was a possibility.

Axel agreed that it was a possibility, but he doubted it was the reason for him staying.

When, finally, the three o'clock bell rang, Axel whipped out his phone and texted Roxas (the first time he'd tried to initiate communication since last week). _Hey, call me plz?_

He was so desperate to hear Roxas's voice… but, still, he doubted that he'd get the call he was desperate for.

And then, five minutes later, his phone started ringing. Axel bit his lip, looked at the screen. _Roxas_ it flashed, along with a picture of the blond, and for once, Axel considered not picking it up… he didn't want to talk to an angry Roxas, and he was very sure that Roxas was still angry with him.

He picked it up anyway. "Hello?"

"_Hey," _Roxas said. The phone distorted his voice a little, but it was there.

"How are you?" Axel asked.

"_I'm okay," _Roxas responded.

Axel sighed. "Are you still mad? At me?"

A moment of silence. Axel bit his thumbnail a little, waiting for the response. _"No, not really."_

Axel smiled, relieved. "I'd take it back if I could," he said.

"_No, you wouldn't," _Roxas said. _"If it hadn't been Demyx, it would have been someone else. It was my fault, anyway."_

"Huh?"

"_If I had kept talking with you, then maybe you wouldn't have been tempted to do anything. Also, I promised you that I'd be home every other weekend and I wasn't. I'm sorry._"

Axel closed his eyes, gripped his guitar tighter, and held back tears. He laughed. "I think that's the most you've every said in one go since… we started dating."

Roxas laughed, too.

When the laughter stopped, Axel asked, "Why aren't you coming home right away?"

Roxas was silent for a moment. _"I made a lot of friends here… with Sora's help, of course. I don't want to just leave all of them. It's to give us time to say good-bye."_

Axel smiled. It made sense- very Roxas-like to care about other people.

"So, then, I'll see you in a month?"

"_Yep!"_ Axel could practically _see_ the smile on Roxas's face.

They were silent for a moment. Then, Axel asked, "Do you still love me the same?"

Roxas _hmm_ed, and then said, _"I'd like to say I do, but I can't. Not right now. I still love you, though, even if it's not the same as before."_ Axel was so focused on the words, that he didn't catch _how_ they were being said: softly, with the twinge of guilt that Axel, himself, had a week or so ago when he admitted to cheating on Roxas with Demyx.

Axel's breath caught in his throat. He barely heard the last few words that Roxas spoke, _"It's not you, Axel, it's me,"_ before he dropped the phone and his guitar and slid off the chair to sit on the ground.

The world faded away. Roxas said he didn't love him anymore. What else mattered?

* * *

Disclaimer: shhhh… the Spork might be listening…

A/N: hehe… I'm sorry. It's not even close to how long I wanted it to be, but I can't keep this chapter away any longer. I kept trying to add something, but nothing was working. It just… wouldn't go.


	7. Kids In Love

Kids In Love

_We are not going to last_

_You're everything I want in my life_

_But, still, not_

_Cuz I need my Sun_

_My Sun, which You can never replace_

* * *

Roxas kept to himself for his last month in Midgar. He politely refused to hang out after school with anyone other than Sora and Riku- and he didn't hang around them much, either.

The only one he actually spent time with was Tidus. The other blond had thrown a fit when he heard that Roxas was still going back to Twilight Town early, but got over himself pretty quickly. Because, Roxas stopped talking whenever Tidus got angry, and he didn't want to waste his last two and a half weeks with Roxas not talking.

So, instead, Tidus did everything he could to get Roxas alone. Not even for _that_, just to spend time with the boy he'd come to love. Though, the few times he could get Roxas to lay back and let himself be kissed were amazing, Tidus knew better than to get used to it.

Roxas smiled only around Tidus, and only if something really amused him. So, during lunch, when he had little choice but to sit with everyone, Tidus made it his personal goal to keep Roxas smiling. None of the group was particularly happy with their antics, but seeing Tidus try so hard to keep Roxas smiling- how could they be angry with them?

* * *

The night before he was going to leave, he sent a text to Axel. _love u. can't wait to c u._ Then, he went back to pulling his clothes into his bags while Sora sat on his bed and watched.

"Did you even like Tidus?"

Roxas gave a half-smile. "I did, and I still do," he said. "I may even love him, and it's enough for now, but there's a big difference between loving someone and being _in_ love with someone." He sat next to Sora on the bed and folded his legs under himself and smiled. "I'm in love with Axel, Sora," he said, his smile growing as he spoke. "And, yes, he did something to really hurt me, and when I tell him about me and Tidus, it's really going to hurt him, but that's the great thing about being in love with someone. You don't have to love what they do to love _them_."

Sora put his head down in Roxas's lap and let Roxas pet his hair. "Everyone was really angry that you were cheating, you know?"

Roxas nodded. "I know. I'm not even going to make excuses for myself, because none of them are good enough," he said.

"He's gonna miss you," Sora said. "Tidus? He's liked you since you got here, and it's just another important person leaving him behind to be with someone else."

Roxas stopped and bit his lip. He whispered, "What?"

Sora sat back up and looked away. "It's not really my place to tell you. Maybe, you should meet up with him one more time, and ask him what he really thinks about you leaving," he said. "He's a good friend of mine, Roxas. As much as I love you, my cousin, he's a friend, and I don't want you to leave him behind, hurt. I… don't want to see that ever again."

Sora stood up and left their room to go hang out with Riku, and Roxas continued packing. He already knew that Tidus was upset that he was leaving, but… how badly did Tidus not want him to go?

He looked at his phone and saw "2 new messages!" spelled out across the screen. He checked it and saw that he'd gotten a text back from Axel, saying, _love u 2. can't wait to hear ur voice again._ Roxas smiled and resisted sending back another text, and instead checked the other one.

From Tidus.

_Plz don't make me have to keep u here… if u love me at all, meet me at the school at 7_

Roxas looked at his clock. 6:30. He had just enough time to get there if he took a bike and left five minutes ago. He stuffed his phone in his pocket and ran upstairs and outside. He saw Sora and Riku talking over the fence, and he called to Sora and told him that he was going to see Tidus.

Riku scowled, but Sora nodded. "Try not to hurt him, okay?"

Roxas grabbed the bike that Uncle Cid said he could borrow for his stay, and peddled as fast as he could off the base and into the district where the school was. When he got into the back, near the parking lot and where he knew Tidus would be, he saw a car pulling out and leaving.

He stopped and checked his phone for the time. 7:08. That was probably Tidus, and he was driving away now.

Quickly, he dialed the number for Tidus's cell, and it rang twice before Tidus picked it up. _"Why bother coming at all if you were going to be late?"_

"I was busy and got the text late!" Roxas cried. "Please, would you come back and talk to me?"

"_I no longer see the point. You're leaving, and you didn't care."_

"But I do care," Roxas whispered into the phone, but Tidus had already hung up.

He sat down on the sidewalk and stared at his phone for a little while before calling another number.

One ring.

Two rings.

Three ri-

"Roxas?"

The blond sighed and said, "Axel, I have to tell you something…"

* * *

At the train station the next morning, Sora and Riku were both taking forever to say goodbye, and Roxas was smiling all the way through it. He'd told Axel everything, cried and hiccupped and explained how he totally fucked up worse than Axel had ever done, and how Axel didn't have to ever forgive him or even talk to him again. But, his wonderful boyfriend shushed him and told him that he was so much stronger now, and thanked him for telling him.

Then, he said he'd be there that afternoon to pick him up from Twilight Station!

It was going to be a perfect ending.

"Roxas?" Sora and Riku turned around to see Tidus standing aside, biting his lip with his hands in his pockets. The two friends told him to go away, that there had been enough damage between him and Roxas, but the blonds both stepped closer together and held each other tight.

Riku and Sora groaned and turned away to give them their privacy. Sora called to Roxas, "Five minutes!"

Roxas nodded and pulled away from Tidus.

"I'm sorry I didn't get there on time last night."

"I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance to explain."

"I do care about you."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

"I- wait, what? Really?" Tidus broke out in a bright smile and exclaimed, "I knew you were just playing with me!"

"Tidus…"

"So, we could totally go to my place and talk and make up and _make out_ and have dinner and you don't ever have to leave again and then we can-"

"Tidus!"

The other blond stopped as Roxas shook his head. "I said that I love you. Not that I'm staying," he said. He looked at him, kissed his cheek. "Because, as much as I do love you, and would always love to see you and talk with you, I have someone else."

Tidus held Roxas's hands and pleaded. "No! There's no way that he loves you more than I do."

"That may be so," Roxas admitted, "But it doesn't change that he's loved me longer, farther, first, and forever. Even through this," he motioned between himself and Tidus, "he's already forgiven me. And, even if you love me more than he does- which I doubt- I'm sorry, but I love him too."

Tidus let go of Roxas's hands and said, "This is just like with my old man, all over again. Just, I actually care about you…"

Roxas hung his head and stepped backwards. "I'm sorry, Tidus."

Tidus grabbed him by the shoulders and said, "This is _exactly_ how it went with my old man when he left, too! But, this is worse."

"How so?"

"_Because I love you!_ When he left, it was just, 'Hey, kid, I found someone else to be with. You and your mother will be fine without me, and I'll come visit every chance I get.' And, yeah, he came around, but it never was the same because I couldn't look at him without remembering what it used to be like," Tidus said.

"And, now, it's just like that, except _worse_. Cuz, I know you're leaving, and you'd love to visit and have me come visit, but I'll bet anything that _Axel's_ gonna be with you anytime I go to see you, and that'll hurt so much you can't imagine!"

"Roxas!" Sora called. The two of them looked back and saw the brunet and Riku talking with the conductor. "It's leaving in a minute! You gotta get on!"

Roxas looked back at Tidus, leaned up to kiss his cheek once more. "I'm sorry, Tidus. I can't express how sorry I am. But, I have to go home. I have someone who loves me."

"_I love you,_" Tidus growled, and pressed their lips together as forcefully as he could, trying to get Roxas to submit to him and stay, but Roxas pushed him away.

"I love you too," Roxas whispered as he started toward the train. "But, it's different from how I love Axel.

Tidus groaned and said, "Why him?"

Roxas bit his lip. "Because he saved me. He helped me talk. He taught me how to love," he said. He stepped on the train and hugged Sora one last time, pounded fists with Riku and waved to Tidus. The blond ran up to him and kissed him lightly.

"Just remember that I'm here if you need me," Tidus said, and then he reached into his bag to take out a CD. "And listen to this, think of me, and don't forget that I love you."

Roxas took the CD and stepped back as the doors closed. He put his hand on the window and watched as Tidus did the same. He saw the tears fall down Tidus's face, and couldn't help the few that fell from his own eyes.

* * *

Disclaimer: lol

A/N: well, that took for-fucking-ever. I apologize. I never meant for it to take that long. I'm not going to make excuses, but I did have a pretty hard time at coming up with a way to end it without breaking everyone's hearts.

One more chapter, maybe two, but dammit, I need to let this story go. The Bunnies ran away from me (mostly the reason why it's so fucking late) and this story was done a long time ago. I almost took it down and re-wrote Alone so it wouldn't lead into this crap, but I worked through it and this is the result.

I promise that the next chapter (hopefully the last) will not take a year to write and/or update.


	8. Listen to Your Heart

Listen To Your Heart

_Which way?_

_Where is home?_

_What is home?_

_I'll support you either way_

_But I hope you pick me_

* * *

Axel watched as Roxas fell apart from the inside out. And, though the blond would deny it anytime it was brought up, Axel knew it was happening. Cloud wasn't going to bother with it- he was just happy to have his son back and safe again that he didn't seem as concerned about Roxas's depression as he could have been.

The only other person who seemed concerned about Roxas was Reno.

At least it was winter break in a few days. Roxas would get a little bit of a distraction with Christmas coming up. At least, he wouldn't be checking his phone every ten minutes for texts that would never come.

But, the afternoon they went on break, the day Axel knew he was getting his boyfriend back for good, Roxas got that first text from the guy he had cheated on Axel with. Axel knew, because Roxas was finally smiling, and he became much more talkative. A light switch had been flicked on in Roxas's heart, and it hadn't been Axel that turned it on.

Roxas ended the night by laughing into his phone, and Axel knew that the guy on the other end wasn't guilty at all.

No, Tidus wouldn't feel bad at all for taking someone's boyfriend away.

So, before Roxas left to go home, Axel copied down Tidus's number.

He didn't want to do this, but Roxas had to choose.

* * *

"You're Tidus, right?"

"Yeah… and you are?"

"Roxas's boyfriend."

Axel heard him growl.

"I love him."

"I know."

"He should have never gone back to you."

"Recently, I've been thinking the same thing."

"I'm… shocked."

"He's only happy when he's talking to you."

"Really?"

"Yeah… I'm going to bring it up to him, to go back to you."

"Why?"

"Because I love him."

"I don't get it."

"I'd rather Roxas be happy with you, than depressed and with me."

"Wow."

"It's one of the reasons I'm okay with letting him go."

"Huh?"

"Because I obviously love him more, if I'm willing to do that."

Tidus hung up on him.

* * *

Roxas was bouncing in his seat, obviously excited. Axel had told him that he'd gotten him a wonderful gift, one that would make any other gift he's ever gotten seem like coal. But, it was only as he was giving the blond the wrapped box that Roxas _really_ looked at Axel. And, Axel could tell.

Roxas's face fell. "What is it?"

Axel sighed, and looked around the room. Everyone else knew. Even Tidus, who was now on Axel's speed-dial. Tidus had even sent money to cover the cost of the present.

"Axel?"

"A train ticket." Axel looked down at his lap after Roxas took the box out of his hand. "To Midgar."

Roxas smiled and hugged him. "So, we could totally take a trip and you could meet all the friends I made there and-"

"Shush," Axel said. "_A_ train ticket. Just one. For you." He leaned back in his seat and looked everywhere except at Roxas. "You aren't happy here. You need to go back."

Roxas… didn't seem as happy as Axel thought he would be. "You… you want me to go away again? After only being together for a couple of weeks?"

"Together? Roxas, you've been dead to the world, it's like you weren't even here," Axel explained.

"But-"

"Tidus is waiting for you," Axel muttered. "He's waiting for my call, to let him know you're on the train."

"So this was his idea?"

"No. It was mine."

"But he helped?"

"No. Well, he helped pay for it, but the idea was all me."

Roxas nodded, and then left the box on the couch as he left the living room, his phone dialing Tidus's number as he left. Axel sighed. He had thought that Roxas would be _happy_ to be going back.

He had thought, that once Roxas finally got with Tidus, after a few months of being with him, he'd get bored. Sending Roxas back to Midgar would, ultimately, bring Roxas back into his arms.

He hadn't thought about the possibility of Roxas rejecting his gift.

Cloud, Aeris, Reno, and his mother all stared. They hadn't thought that Roxas would reject it, either.

They sat in an awkward silence for almost ten minutes, listening to Roxas talk to Tidus. Occasionally, Roxas would say something particularly loud, and Axel would wince. It was usually something like, "I love you, too, but I'm not going to ruin my relationship with Axel for you."

Axel was touched, but hearing Roxas say "I love you" to someone else was unnerving. It was an obvious sign that he wasn't the most important in Roxas's life.

Then, when Roxas yelled, one last time, "I'm not going! Good bye!" everyone heard the phone hitting the wall. And, everyone jumped. Then, Roxas walked back into the living room, took the box with the train ticket in it, and gave it back to Axel.

And, he was smiling, just like he used to. "Can you get your money back on this?"

"Maybe?" Axel whispered.

Roxas curled up next to him and leaned his head on Axel's shoulder. "Then, you should. I'm not leaving you, not for something I know isn't going to last."

* * *

Three months later, Axel got a call from Tidus. He had called to tell Axel that if he had still been a threat to their relationship, he no longer was. There was a new girl in Midgar, Yuna, and they had been dating for about a month. Neither of them were going to give up on it.

Axel congratulated Tidus on moving on, and when Tidus asked how Roxas was, Axel denied him the information. Tidus thanked him, and asked him to, someday, tell Roxas that he was sorry for putting him through that much heartache.

Every now and then, Axel knew that Roxas would drift back to the train station and check the rates for a one-way to Midgar. But, every time, he would always make his way back home, and Axel would hold him until the tears stopped.

He knew Roxas really loved Tidus, and it would take longer than three months to get over him. Axel wasn't even sure that Tidus was over Roxas, but if he could move on enough to date again, he was doing a lot better than Roxas.

But, over time, Roxas stopped going.

Axel found a CD in the blond's stereo one night, and it was repeating one song. He listened to the song for a little while, and smiled.

Roxas had done what he felt was right. That was all that mattered.

* * *

Disclaimer: never. Nope.

A/N: that's the end. Thank God.


End file.
